Another  government, another politician called Brown(e) and someone else who  wants to shaft anyone who would favour stupid things such as  intellectual growth or the advancement of British academia over good  business acumen. While we at the Lion applaud Lord Browne for his novel  and outside-the-box approach to higher education, one can’t help but  wonder if he happened to learn joined up thinking in his own time at  university.
Lord Browne (played by the love-child of  George W Bush and Pierce Brosnan, assuming George Bush could get it up  without starting a war), has announced his plan to cut funding for the  education of what he considers are not “priority subjects”. But don’t  worry, John Browne is not like George Bush in the sense that ol’ Dubya  is a cynical playboy descendent of crypto-fascist senators, born with a  silver spoon in every orifice, the Bible one hand and a bottle of Johnny  Walker in the other, rather Lord Browne is just a nasty little  neo-Thatcherite with a reputation for firing people who disagree with  him and ruthlessly cutting costs. The esteemed peer of Her Majesty’s  government has no experience in education and is an entrepreneur who has  over 40 years of experience at BP, that same company which, earlier  this year, broke the world.
Browne’s plans to remove  limits on how much a university may charge students in tuition fees  could lead to fees being hiked up to £90,000 over 3 years. Read that  number again. Ninety thousand pounds. That’s enough for a house in the  suburbs. Or enough Johnny Walker to sink the Belfast. Lord Browne has  defended his proposals claiming that “These reforms will put students in  the driving seat of a revolutionary new system.” Although it is  technically true, not all students will be empowered by these ‘reforms’  and the system is only ‘revolutionary’ in the Thatcherite sense of the  word. As I recall, Wat Tyler was a revolutionary, and things didn’t go  so well for him. These proposals are a part of the cuts agenda that  could decimate the welfare state and reinforce a system of affirmative  action for rich-white-men.
The kind of educational system  favoured by Browne could have been drawn up by Allan Bloom, an elitist  system where intellectuals pump out ‘great ideas’ which everyone else  just memorises. If one considers where Lord Browne’s cuts and ‘Glorious  Revolutionary Ideas’ may take the education system, one ends up with a  dystopia that Orwell would have killed to dream up. David Cameron has  given full backing to this proposal. It’s nice to have a Prime Minister  who will do the best thing for the downtrodden common man while sipping  brandy at the Bullingdon and braying like a newly neutered pony.
It’s  ironic that the government is supposedly dedicated to cutting the  deficit so that our children won’t have to live with the burden of our  actions. While Con-Dem policy on education appears to be “Let’s ensure  that our children have to live with the burden of our actions.” This  eases us gently into the main point of this bilious tirade. To ensure  that you don’t have to live with this little scheme of Browne’s (which  our Paramount Leader James Johnston detailed in the last issue) then  you’re going to need to do a little walking. This communal stroll will  take place on the 10th of November, to enjoy the London sunshine, take  in some sites on the way, and to kick arse all around the room and down  the stairs.
This is a short interlude to let our heads  break the surface of hatred for a moment, to add the perfunctory note  that Lord Browne’s report does have some good bits. Like the Curate’s  Egg. On the other hand, the Curate’s Egg was still rotten, and it  doesn’t matter how good the good bits are, you still throw a rotten egg  away. Or at someone. Like Lord Browne. In fact, if any readers happen to  have any rotten eggs, by all means bring them along on the march. 
On  a more serious note, it is important to remember our status in this.  When one mentions the word ‘students’ a whole list of pejorative phrases  and negative images float into the mind of the public in general. This  kind of activism is the kind of gesture that shows that students in  London and across the nation are not going to take these cuts lying  down. In a time when political apathy is almost a badge of honour in  many circles, showing that university students have a social conscience  and are prepared to march and declare their opposition to unfair or  unjust proposals. It is, if not an obligation, then most definitely your  right as a student and a British citizen to protest. Change in  government policies should come from the affected making their stance  known. If the government is out of line, then you need to tell them so.  If they will not police themselves, it falls to the public to express  their dissent.
No good can come of this government, as it  espouses the maxim “From each according to his gullibility, to each  according to his greed”. Lord Browne proposes to treat institutions of  learning and high thought as a business. He pays no heed to the  importance of the arts or culture in our society. Short of actually  calling him a bellowing philistine ninny, we will instead simply say  that Lord Browne intends to take institutions like Cambridge, Oxford and  the towering latter-day Athens of Heythrop and treat them as a business  because the cocaine barrel happens to be running low. It is interesting  to note that Lord Browne (whose title, I just noticed, makes him sound  like a Brummie pimp) put Physics as one of the “priority” subjects, as  this happens to be the degree that he read at Cambridge. It also happens  to be a favourite of predatory recruiters into the City, who will snap  up scientific types like a vulture over carrion. Strange, then, that  Philosophy, a subject that promotes individual thought and betterment of  oneself and the world, has been relegated to the status of secondary  priority and would, under Lord Browne’s proposal, have its funding cut.  As Nietzsche once wrote “The Philistine detests all education that makes  for loneliness, has an aim above money-making and requires a long  time.”
The Browne report on its own merits could be deemed  barbaric in its aggression towards the arts, but when considered as  part of the cuts agenda of the Con-Dems it is constitutive of the  ongoing annihilation of remnants of social democracy which began in  1979. Since Browne’s proposals carry the potential to hike tuition fees  for medical students well over £100,000 we should think of our position  at this point as defending what remains of an exemplary system of higher  education. If Browne’s report becomes reality (not just a hideous  speculative fantasy) then a new age of debt-ridden life of wage-slavery  for students is ushered in. The deficit is cut, well done, jolly good  show boys, now it’s the people who are carrying the strain.
At  the risk of sounding like a thundering demagogue, I would say that it  is your duty to attend this demonstration. It’s relevant to you; yes YOU  holding this paper in your sweaty little hand, because you don’t want  to see yourself in debt for the next 40 years. It’s important for the  country and for the university you attend. I do, of course, hate to  think in such callous terms, but think of the money. The f*cking debt  you would be in would be bloody outrageous. Nobody likes being in debt.  Especially not to David Cameron, that simpering toff gleefully rubbing  his palms together and salivating, all the while perspiring with  pleasure at the thought of a system that rations education according to  affluence rather than intelligence.
And furthermore, if  sticking it to the Conservative Party doesn’t make you want to attend,  then nothing will. Just conjure up an image of Lord Browne sharing a  sweaty roll in the hay with David Cameron in a pile of banknotes paid by  students toiling endlessly to pay off their debt, and feel your social  conscience grow proud and erect. (Writer’s note: That is the worst sentence I have ever written in my whole life and I hate myself) It  is absolutely vital to the core of education, the furthering of  intellectual pursuits and the struggle for knowledge, that these  proposals be opposed with the utmost sincerity and tenacity by students  across the country.
Written by JT White and Joshua Ferguson, October 24th 2010, for Heythrop's student newspaper the Lion originally.
 
 






